The Family Phone Challenge: How To Do a Digital Detox
Ever wondered what life would be like if you unplugged from your phone for a week?
A few weeks ago I happened to turn on the morning news, a rarity in my early hours of rising these days. The TODAY Show was highlighting a piece on a school district in Ohio that banned cell phone use for a year. I was struck by two student comments: at first the students hated it and tried to sneak the phones in but after awhile they realized how life was so much different without phones. Now, they talked to each other (and it was loud) as opposed to being engrossed in their phones at lunch. And perhaps more importantly, the students believed their mental health had improved due to the year’s phone policy.
The cell phone story in Ohio along with Ben Meer’s cell phone challenges that I read about in January (moving the phone into another room to charge and detoxing for an entire 24 hours without your phone) really got me thinking. I mean it was June already. I hadn’t really tried to make changes with cell phone use and perhaps there was something addictive about my morning and evening scrolls.
What is the Family Phone Challenge?
I came up with our Family Phone Challenge for a week. We would start on Monday and end the evening of Father’s Day. The initial plan had been to discuss our takeaways at dinner on Father’s Day, but if your family is like mine the day of celebration turns into golf, dinner and literally sharing it with half a dozen other folks who don’t necessarily celebrate Father’s Day but you consider family. So ironically, I proposed the family phone challenge by text in our family thread and we summarized our experiences at the end of the week by text.
I came up with six options in which to choose how MUCH of a phone challenge you might take on. I suggested that each of us try two of the options for an entire week. I purposefully picked six options that I thought I could attempt and be successful with, while my husband and the kids only had to choose two.
At first the four of us all seemed to think - “sure I can do this”, “it will be easy” and “okay if we must”. I will confess that our son really didn’t agree to participate or even comment at the end. He’s the type that reads a text and then ‘ghosts’ you if you know what I mean. So to be transparent, we had one that I have no honest idea if he participated or not, he merely commented, “not scrolling before bed is too hard for me.”
Our Experience with a Digital Detox
My son’s girlfriend was so excited to try this, most especially the scrolling in the morning and the evening. She, like me, had gotten into a routine of sorts to scroll social media, look at reels, send reels and videos to others and to comment at the end of the day. My husband thought for sure ‘no phone at the dinner table’ is easy. Well — how’d we do you ask…..
On the first day I had no trouble NOT scrolling thirty minutes upon waking and thirty minutes before bed. I didn’t set an alarm and I played with Arnie, the dog, in the morning and the evening so it kept me busy. On the second day, I thought let’s try for 60 minutes; well I looked at my phone almost upon rising because it was dinging and ringing and I just had to look at who was attempting to contact me so early in the morning. TRAP - I fell in and I never recovered, so much so I stopped keeping daily notes on our progress. We still had five days to go - we could do this!
By the end, our son was a total loss in the experiment as he ghosted my attempt at an evaluation, my husband merely answered ‘no’ when asked if he attempted the challenge, and our son’s girlfriend commented, “I failed. It was a really busy week so I will try again.”
So for our family, we are going to give it another try. Our mindset on the challenge is that it’s not something to win or mark done, but instead it is changing our behavior so that we are more present in our own lives.
How to Create Your Own Family Phone Challenge
Ready to give the Family Digital Detox a try with your family? Here are the six options we used – you can choose 2 or all 6 of the below – or even come up with your own options to create your own adventure.
Option 1: No phone use at the dinner table. I did well with this challenge. I actually implemented it because I was tired of everyone else being on their phones. It didn’t change their behavior but rather made me more cognizant of my behavior. I now purposefully leave mine in another room at dinner (and I hear that there are restaurants that offer diners discounts for not being on their phones), maybe you should try it!
Option 2: Put your phone away 30 to 60 minutes before bed. I will admit this one is tough but I slept so much better when I put my phone away by eight or nine in the evening and when bedtime approached it had been an hour or two and I didn’t look at my phone. A few nights I read an actual book if I was not feeling quite sleepy enough. My sleep score on my Oura ring improved during this challenge!!
Option 3: Do not look at your phone the first 30 to 60 minutes in the morning. This one was a tough one because I realized how much a creature of routine I am. I love to play scrabble and wordle and wake up my brain over hot lemon water. So I could easily do 30 minutes but if I needed to do a full hour my ‘routine-self’ really struggled with sitting quietly, playing with the dog, having tea and slowly rising.
Option 4: Charge your phone in another room and set the morning alarm. Okay, full truth - I did not attempt this option. You see, I have been really trying to go to sleep and rise without an alarm at the same time daily. So while I could have charged my phone in another room, I didn’t. Clearly I have an attachment to my phone that I didn’t realize was as strong. Think I am kidding? When was the last time you broke your phone or left it at home for the day? Yep, I didn’t think so — you feel half naked without it and yet – I am challenging myself here – it is exactly what I need to do.
Option 5: Detox from your phone one day in the week (12 to 24 hours). I have tried this a little over the past few months. Sadly, I usually pick up my phone because I am ‘fearful’ I might miss something. In my life I have determined that Saturday or Sundays are usually easier days to detox from your devices. As long as your family is aware and knows not to try and reach you on your cell phone - it definitely helps you be more successful. Think about it - who likely texts you the most? So my advice, all agree to the same day for a month to do a digital detox.
Option 6: Leave your phone at home for walks, runs, & exercise. Finally: SUCCESS!! I have purposefully tried to be more alert on my walks with Arnie, the dog. So I ALWAYS leave my phone at home for our short morning walks. I find that it gives me time to notice my thoughts, my body, the birds, the weather, and most importantly to spend time soaking up God’s handiwork (nature). I love this part of my day and I wouldn’t trade it. Some days we walk for ten minutes and other days we walk for thirty minutes, regardless of how much time you have - I urge you to spend it quietly.
While we didn’t nail it perfectly, we learned a lot about how much we rely on our phones and how it affects our daily lives. This challenge reminded us of the importance of being present, connecting with each other, and finding joy in the simpler moments.
If you’re thinking about a digital detox, start with something manageable and choose a few options that could be easy wins. Then once you’re successful, give it another try with additional restrictions. Whether it’s putting your phone away during dinner, avoiding screens before bed, or setting aside a day to unplug entirely, these small changes can lead to better mental health, improved sleep, and more meaningful interactions with your loved ones. The goal isn’t to be perfect but to make progress. By consciously deciding to disconnect from our devices, we can reconnect with what truly matters. Give it a shot, and you might be surprised at how much more enjoyable life feels without the constant buzz of notifications!
