Hopeless to Hopeful

You likely know me as Rebecca, but as a baby I was given the name Rebecca Hope.  Though I was only called my FORMAL name when I had done something egregious, not listened as I should have, or had a little too fierce of an independent spirit (something like Scout, in To Kill A Mockingbird).  So you can bet I heard “Rebecca Hope” lots in those younger elementary years.

I was prickly, feisty, rambunctious, and somewhat of a clutz.  I think dish towels today refer to that as ‘spicy disaster’ or ‘hot mess’.  As a kid instead of Rebecca Hope it became ‘hopeless’.  

What started as a joke - stuck.

Granted I don’t think it was mean spirited - I actually thought it was better than calling out ‘Grace’ every time I broke something (which was weekly if not daily for a spell).  

As a young five year old I had trouble saying Hopeless - so it came out “Hope - a - less”. You know in the south we add extra syllables and loud pronunciation to everything and why would a name be any different.  It wasn’t that I believed I was hopeless or even lived into that name; in fact, quite the opposite really.  I hated my name.

I was Becca for a long time, then Bec, then officially somewhere in the professional world (as a twenty something), I changed it to be Rebecca.  Never once in my adult life did I give much thought to my middle name (except when I applied for a passport or official retirement documents or applying for a marriage license on occasion).

Once when recounting the story of my “hopeless” childhood nickname, I had a friend ask me - “Why hopeless?” Why wouldn’t they have said “hopeful”. Up until then, I had never questioned it and never imagined that my life would mirror my name. 

What does your name say about you?

Do you ever think about names? Think about the history of your name?

It turns out your name, though most of us have no choice in the matter, can play a huge role in influencing your personality, other people’s perception of you, and even your physical appearance. At a basic level, your name can reveal details about our culture, background, and even occasionally your family’s religion. But, social psychologists that have been studying this for years are finding that your name is also extremely important to your personal development.  

In 2000, a psychology study found that people who disliked their name were more likely to have a lack confidence and have low self-esteem. Not to mention the stories, beliefs, and traumas we carry as a result of experiences brought on by our name (like teasing or bullying as a child.) Knowing that, it’s easy to understand why bringing awareness to the meaning and purpose of our name could help us achieve better health, success, relationships, and overall well-being – in other words, help us live our best life.

The Meaning of Hope

In the last few weeks I have thought a lot about Hope and its meaning.  As we prepared to move a few months back I found lots of old photos and documents that I had carelessly thrown in a box when I moved from Savannah to New York to Dallas to Pasadena and back to Dallas.  I hadn’t opened those boxes in a decade and I had no idea what I would discover (more on that in a future blog, there’s something about moving that makes you so introspective).  

I found a baby book and I recall my parents telling me that I arrived early and they really hadn’t settled on names yet - girl or boy. I realized I had never actually heard why and how they decided on Rebecca Hope, the list was narrowed but no evidence to suggest how they finally decided.  So I sent a quick message to my Godmother to ask her if she knew the history and purpose of my name.  She chose to write me a letter - so with the anticipation I thought “oooohh there must really be a good story here.”  

Spoiler alert - it didn’t contain any new knowledge, but it did give me a whole new perspective.

I received a thoughtful, loving letter from my Godparents who fully attested that my parents were indeed very proud of me, that I have lived and continued to live my life full of joy, optimism and HOPE - even when the losses were great and the grief a heavy weight. It reminded me that at any stage of life we can choose the type of person we want to be. We can choose to live in to our name.  

Fast forward to late June 2023. I began embodying my given middle name.  I knew I had Hope and I felt it with every fiber of my being. So much so I had it engraved on a bracelet to remind me daily that I was named Hope for a very specific reason and I had hope in the future, in God’s plan for my life, and with hope comes contagious joy.

As I grow into my name even more amidst my fifties, I can assure you that there is more to learn, more to process and even more to be grateful for and for that - to live a life full of HOPE seems most appropriate.

So I ask you - are you living in to your name? If not, there’s no better day to start than today.